Hockey Life Lessons

7 Reasons to be Thankful for a Hockey Mom

1. 7:00 AM practices…need I say more?
2. When your hockey buddies come over and raid the pantry…she’s the reason there are groceries to raid.
3. There is not a person in the rink experiencing more anxiety during your games than your mother.
4. She is not driving an 18.5’ Suburban because it parks easily or has great gas mileage…that is the vehicle most conducive to hauling hockey players, their equipment and teammates.
5. Above & beyond laundry efforts…if you’re not the smelly kid in the locker-room, your mother is likely the reason why. (BTW - if you are, go ahead and give her an opportunity to do a quick wash).
6. A weekend in and out of a cold ice rink, spending an obscene amount of money on restaurant meals and rooming with you, a teammate and your equipment strewn all over the room, is likely not her idea of a nice weekend away.
7. It is in your mother’s DNA to nurture and protect you…it’s not in the coach’s nor in your teammates, and for ninety minutes or so, 40-50 times a year, your mother has to relinquish her child into a physically and emotionally demanding, intense and sometimes violent sport. No player, coach or teammate can ever know that feeling.

Hockey moms are committed to a lifestyle based on a sport you love to play. They make sacrifices.  They are strong, noble and caring.  A thank you and a hug will go a long way to showing your appreciation for all they do for you. Make it specific, make it frequent and make it genuine.

 PS – if you’re a goalie, add three exclamation points to #’s 3, 4 and 7.

It's where I learned about

Although country music may not be the best pump-you-up lockerroom music, there is something about a great country song that can inspire you.  As I was in the midst of our Saturday morning routine today, I had country music on in the background and Boondocks came on by Little Big Town.  Great song and a great reminder to us all about remembering our roots.  As I listened to the chorus, I thought about the places growing up and what those experiences taught me. 

I couldn’t help but think about hockey.  About the many times I’ve hauled my equipment from the parking lot through the doors of the rink.  About how the unique smell of a hockey rink hits you when you walk in.  About how you know the intricacies of each lockerroom…the best spot to sit to avoid getting stray tape balls landing in your bag, the shower head that gives the perfect amount of water pressure, the drinking fountains that have the coldest water.

Within the walls of a hockey rink, I’ve experienced a wide gamut of emotions from sheer joy and excitement to deep anger and frustration. I’ve shared many laughs. I’ve shed many tears. I’ve discovered aspects about my character that wouldn’t have come through in many other environments. I’ve developed character that wouldn’t have otherwise been developed.

I had many environments growing up that shaped who I am today, but my 'boondocks' is very much the hockey rink. As the song states, ‘You can take it or leave it, this is me.  This is who I am.’ In a couple hours, my family and I will head to the little league field for my son’s game.  For some the little league field feels like home.  For me, it’s the hockey rink…that’s home to me.

The chorus of Boondocks says,

    “It's where I learned about living

    It's where I learned about love

    It's where I learned about working hard”

Although it doesn’t fit into a song, I would say…

    It’s where I learned about being responsible and committed

    It’s where I learned about getting along with people whether you like them or not

    It’s where I learned about striving to be the best you can be

What would you add?

    It’s where I learned about…

 

Get More: Boondocks, Little Big Town, Little Big Town Videos

Hockeyboy

On one of many car rides to an early morning hockey practice, I asked my 4 year old son what type of book he may like for a Christmas present, he said he wanted a hockey book and a superhero book. I replied that he’d have to choose one or the other since there weren’t any books about a hockey superhero. That sparked an idea and subsequent conversations with an excellent author and a very talented illustrator. Several months later, Hockeyboy was published.

Hockeyboy is a children’s book for kids between 3 and 6 years of age. It’s about a typical boy who becomes a hero for his town when an evil villain threatens to ruin their great game of hockey. It’s short, exciting, funny and honoring to our game. It’s the type of book that kids ask to read over and over again. It’s the type of book that will get young kids excited about reading.

 

Pursue Victory

As I sit in the midst of the Stanley Cup playoffs, I have great admiration for these athletes who are so committed to pursuing victory.  They’ve trained for many years to become the best at what they do.  They’ve travelled a difficult and challenging road with many sacrifices made along the way.  They have earned their place in the NHL.  Their teams have earned the right to compete as one of the top sixteen teams.  What matters, is not how they play the game, but that they win.  That is what they’re measured against.  In the end it is only he who wins the last game that gets to momentarily hold the ultimate prize in hockey…the Stanley Cup.  Like these athletes competing for the Stanley Cup, we too want to win, to be successful, to be victorious.  And we invest much into pursuing victory.

While we pursue our victories here on earth, whether in the sports arena, in the boardroom or in the classroom, the most important victory is the one we celebrate today.  For today, we celebrate Easter.  Today is a day, not about colored eggs, chocolate bunnies and a perfectly cooked lamb, but a day about victory.  Victory that is not exclusive to only the best.  Victory that is not earned but given freely.  Victory that lasts.  Today, we recognize and celebrate Jesus Christ’s resurrection.  His conquest over sin.  His victory over death.  His victory is our victory.

Like an NHL player journeying to the ultimate victory in hockey, we too can follow a path to sharing in Christ’s victory.  First we must admit that we are sinners.  We were born under the power of sin’s control. (Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”).  We know that sin has consequence. It results in defeat – spiritual death that separates us from God for eternity (Romans 6:23a “…the wages of sin is death…”).  We must understand that we deserve death for our sin – we deserve to lose.  Victory over death is a gift from God to us.  You can't earn this gift, but you must reach out and receive it (Romans 6:23b “...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.").

God’s gift of salvation is a result of Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. When Christ died on the cross, He did so on our behalf.  When He rose from the dead, He claimed victory over our sin.  When we believe in Him and His love, we can share in His victory!  His love is what saves us…not religion, not church attendance, not by anything we do (Romans 5:8 "God demonstrates His own love for us, in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us!"). 

As you pursue victory, pursue-not trophies or rings, pursue-not fame or fortune…pursue God’s love (Romans 10:13 "Whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved!").  Jesus said, "Behold I stand at the door and knock, if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him..." (Revelation 3:20a).  If you know that God is knocking on your heart's door, ask Him to come into your heart (Romans 10:9-10 "...If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead, you shall be saved; for with the heart man believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.").

We can find people in all walks of life who have found victory in Christ.  If you’d like to read about NHL players who have found victory both at hockey’s highest level and in Christ, read The Edge Courage And Inspiration From The Ice.  Visit www.fcahockey.com or www.hockeyministries.org.  Pursue true Victory!

"But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Corinthians 15:57

Top 5 Ice Hockey Experiences of 2010

2010 was an eventful year for ice hockey in our house. Here are the Top 5 in no particular order:

1. My oldest son, Charlie, starting Learn to Skate and beginning his journey with hockey
2. Flying across the pond to play 4 games in Germany, tour and spend time with a lot great people
3. Accepting Portage Central head coach position and beginning to transition to an exciting new endeavor
4. End of year tournament win ending three great seasons with the ’95 group
5. Starting Hockey Life Lessons blog to share 25 years of life lessons learned from hockey

What were your Top 5 Hockey experiences in 2010?

A Life without Goals is a Life to Keep-Away

The stage is set and it doesn’t get any better than this. Your hockey family together. The best hockey players in the world gathered on one sheet of ice. A nation’s bragging rights at stake. The Gold medal game. Overtime.

Now imagine Team USA and Team Canada playing a mean game of keep-away. No nets. No exciting offense. No breathtaking saves. No goals. Takes the excitement out of the game, doesn’t it?

Imagine basketball with no hoops? Football with no end zone? Baseball with no home plate? Would we engage in sports as intensely as we do if we had no goals, baskets, touchdowns or runs?  Do we engage in life without goals as much as we would if we had S.M.A.R.T. goals? SMART goals are:

• Specific - Is your goal well-defined? Would someone with basic knowledge of the subject be clear on what you are trying to accomplish?
• Measurable – You must be able to determine whether you accomplished your goal or not. Objective, not subjective.
• Attainable – Goals must be realistic to accomplish. Set a goal that challenges you but is not out of the realm of possibility.
• Relevant – Is your goal relevant to you and your life? If your goal is set by somebody else or is not relevant to your passions and interests, you’ll never do what it takes to accomplish it.
• Timely – Set a deadline for accomplishing your goal. Deadlines create pressure and pressure produces results.

Goals are critical to success in any area of life. Remember though that the character you build while pursuing your goals is as important, if not more, than whether or not you actually accomplish your goals. We’ve all heard the expression ‘life is not about the destination but about the journey.’

Goal-setting develops clarity in purpose and focus. The pursuit of goals requires effort, diligence and perseverance. Reaching your goals teaches you how to handle success with humility and grace. Falling short of your goals teaches you how to rise above failure with tenacity and dignity.

If and when you succeed, enjoy the fruits of your labor for a moment and then push yourself to the next level. Don’t let complacency set-in. If and when you fail, get up and try again…and again…and again.

Set your goals and resolve to achieve them with passion and integrity. Just as goals engage us in sports, they engage us in life as well.

 

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.

~Abraham Lincoln

Ice hockey coach quits game...makes false assertion to be a principled decision

There is much controversy surrounding a youth hockey coach who was recently suspended for leaving a game mid-way through due to a racial slur directed at one of his players.

Through all of the articles, blogs, and discussions everyone seems to be calling this a ‘principled stand’ and calling for the coach’s suspension to be rescinded.  Based on the facts that I’ve seen in the multiple articles and stories I’ve researched, I see a coach who may have had honorable intentions, but took a path far removed from principles.

Was the racial slur inappropriate? Absolutely.

There should be zero tolerance for these types of comments. If/when they occur, there should be discipline, not only from the league or association but from the infringing player’s coach.  There are governing bodies in youth sports who generally take issues such as this very seriously. Although they are not perfect justice systems, most are fair and reasonable.

This coach is arguing his decision was based on principle. What principle is he reinforcing…that racial slurs are inappropriate? How does quitting reinforce that principle?  Quitting says, ‘you got the best of me.’ Quitting says, ‘I don’t know how to stand up for my player or my team, so I’ll just walk off.’  It is appalling to use the term ‘principled’ to describe the decision to quit a game.

The lesson he’s teaching is simple: When you don’t get your way…give up.  If someone hurts your feelings…run.

Whether racial or otherwise, trash talk is designed to get the other player off his game. Right or wrong, it occurs. And it occurs in any competitive environment. While it may be more sophisticated, it also occurs in the professional world.  Sometimes it’s calculated and intentional and sometimes it stems from the heat of competition.

Without mental toughness, it will get the better of you.

Without self-confidence, it will get the better of you.

Without knowing how to persevere, it will get the better of you.

A coach has the unique opportunity to foster those character traits…mental toughness, self-confidence and perseverance. Not to quit.

The team can make a stand by fighting, not in the literal sense of the word or by retaliating with trash talk, but by battling out the rest of the game with resolve and determination.  What better situation to rally your team together for an inspired third period?  Beat’em on the scoreboard. Play a more intense, physical game. Win every loose puck. Dominate the game to show them that you won’t back down.

Take your fight off the ice by making a formal complaint to the appropriate league officials. Fight for stricter enforcement of racial slurs.  Rally a group on Facebook to bring attention to what you feel is a serious issue.  If you want your team to stand for something, then lead them in the fight for what you believe is right. Don’t teach them to quit and then call it being principled.

This coach is right about one thing…it is more than hockey. That is why his decision is so disappointing.

5 Ways to Find Victory in Failure (5 of 5) - See the Forest through the Trees

Once I began coaching, I developed a different perspective than I had as a goalie. When you play the game, you tend to focus on the battle at hand.  It’s one game at a time, one period at a time, one shot at a time.  Coaches see the big picture. They are rarely focused on one game, one period, one shot. Are they present in the moment? Absolutely, but they operate within that moment from a long-term perspective.

Winners look beyond the moment and see the big picture. They’re not defined by one moment of failure.  Winners know that they must get up one more time than they get knocked down.  They know that success is a result of persevering through failures while focusing on long-term goals.

It is often said that the Stanley Cup is the hardest trophy to win in all of professional sports.  A Stanley Cup is not the result of winning the fourth game of the Stanley Cup Finals. The Stanley Cup is the result of individual players investing hours and hours practicing to become better hockey players.  It is the result of the team owners, front office staff and coaches putting the right players on the ice, which may take a few years or many years to build.  It is the culmination of those players coming together and executing their game plan for an eighty-two game season and four grueling rounds of playoff hockey.

How many games are won without getting scored on? A few. How many series result in a sweep?  Some.  How many championships are won without losing a single game?  None.  See the forest to persevere through the trees.

5 Ways to Find Victory in Failure (4 of 5) - A lesson from the red line and the donkey

As a goaltender, I recall several very specific goals that I allowed during my playing career.  One goal in particular sticks in my mind.  I don’t remember who it was against. I don’t remember the score or even whether we won or lost.  I just remember letting in a goal from the red line…the ultimate sin for a goaltender.  I remember diving back to try and recover from my mistake. As I was lying in the net, I remember not wanting to come out of the net to face the humiliation of this grievous blunder. 

What sticks in my mind more than anything though, is the encouragement from the assistant coach during the next shift when I made a simple save.  Although I had let in an inexcusable goal during the previous shift, my coach chose to focus on that save.  His verbal and non-verbal praise allowed me to move on. From that encouragement, I felt like I could compete…like I belonged…like the red line goal was ancient history.

As we manage our failures, it is critical to focus on the positives to ensure we are moving forward toward our goals and toward the standards that we have set for ourselves.  We’re not going to achieve success in an instant.  We’re going to take some steps forward and we’re going to take some steps back.  We get more of what we focus on, so when we accentuate the positives, we get more positives and move forward.  Earl Nightengale said “Success is a progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.”

This parable reminds me of the importance of taking small steps and gradually digging yourself out of a hole by focusing on the positives.

One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then to everyone’s amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off.

Hockey Haters abound on Olivia Lane

Many who read this article, think the losers are the kids who can't play hockey anymore or maybe some have pity for the couple being vandalized. The real loser in this neighborhood is the game of hockey to which all involved have brought disgrace.

Based on the facts presented in this article...

Shame on the players for not respecting the property and persons their game impacted.

Shame on the players' parents for not effectively disciplining their children for misbehavior.

Shame on the couple for handling a valid complaint in a whiny, harmful and arrogant manner.

Shame on those who resorted to vandalism because they didn’t get their way.

Shame on all adults involved for not playing nice in the proverbial sandbox.

Shame on anyone who made this issue about hockey.

Hockey is a game of respect, honor and teamwork. No, this is not about hockey. This is about a group of selfish, prideful and immature adults who don’t how to communicate respectfully.

If anyone involved in this situation or a similar one (apparently this is not uncommon?) would like a solution rather than to continue their petty scuffles…read QBQ! The Question Behind the Question: Practicing Personal Accountability and How To Win Friends and Influence People.